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    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/restored-behavior</loc>
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    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/miscellaneous-2</loc>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/till-we-have-faces-1</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-08-07</lastmod>
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      <image:title>till we have faces</image:title>
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      <image:title>till we have faces - where all the beauty comes from</image:title>
      <image:caption>12”x15” charcoal, acrylic, paint pens         2015 The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing- to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from… do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing?  The longing for home?  For indeed it now feels not like going, but going back.  All my life the God of the Mountain has been wooing me. C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces</image:caption>
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      <image:title>till we have faces</image:title>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1486756427840-3YNGS1XRO8EEO7SPC0CD/priestWEB.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>till we have faces - the priest</image:title>
      <image:caption>16”x12” pen &amp; ink, acrylic, paint pens         2015 He frightened me: the holiness of the smell that hung about him.  I was afraid of his clothes too, all the skins they were made of, the dried bladders, and the great mask shaped like a bird’s head.  It looked as if there were a bird growing out of his body. C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces</image:caption>
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      <image:title>till we have faces - memory waked</image:title>
      <image:caption>9”x14”        acrylic, gel medium       2015 It would be better to rewrite it from the beginning, but there’s no time for that… What began the change was the very writing itself.  Let no one lightly set about such a work.  Memory, once waked, will play the tyrant… The change which the writing wrought in me was only the beginning- only to prepare me for the god’s surgery.  They used my own pen to probe my wound. C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1491330207944-2TIKZ2QHVSRPRYBYPYU3/incurvatusWEB.JPG</image:loc>
      <image:title>till we have faces - i dont (want to) see it : incurvatus se</image:title>
      <image:caption>5”x6” charcoal        2015 I was like a condemned man waiting for his executioner, for I believed that some sudden stroke of the gods would fall on me very soon.  But as day came after day and nothing happened, I began to see, at first very unwillingly, that I might be doomed to live, and even to live an unchanged life, some while longer. My aim was to build up more and more of that strength, hard and joyless, by learning, fighting, and laboring, to drive all the woman out of me.   C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces</image:caption>
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      <image:title>till we have faces - this is my real voice</image:title>
      <image:caption>16”x12” acrylic       2015 There was utter silence all around me.  And now for the first time I knew what I had been doing.  While I was reading, it had, once again, seemed strange to me that the reading took so long; for the book was a small one.  Now I knew that I had been reading it over and over- perhaps a dozen times.  I would have read it forever, quick as I could, starting the first word again almost before the last one was out of my mouth, if the judge had not stopped me.  And the voice I read it in was strange to my ears.  There was given to me a certainty that this, at last, was my real voice. At last the judge spoke. “Are you answered?” Yes.  The complaint was the answer.  To have heard myself making it was to be answered.  Lightly men talk of saying what they mean.  Often when he was teaching me to write in Greek the Fox would say, “Child, to say the very thing you mean, the whole of it, nothing more or less or other than what you really mean; that’s the whole art and joy of words.”  A glib saying.  When the time comes to you at which you will be forced at last to utter the speech which has lain at the center of your soul for years, which you have, all that time been saying over and over, you’ll not talk of the joy of words.  I saw well why the gods do not speak to us openly, nor let us answer.  Till that word can be dug out of us, why should they hear the babble we think we mean?  How can they meet us face to face till we have faces?  C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces</image:caption>
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      <image:title>till we have faces - a myth retold: again</image:title>
      <image:caption>16" x 12" book pages   2015 Now you who read, judge.  C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces  </image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1486610234520-YDYF9AJR6QIHY2ZXO1HD/beautyWEB.JPG</image:loc>
      <image:title>till we have faces - where all the beauty comes from</image:title>
      <image:caption>12”x15” charcoal, acrylic, paint pens         2015 The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing- to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from… do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing?  The longing for home?  For indeed it now feels not like going, but going back.  All my life the God of the Mountain has been wooing me. C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/restored-behavior-1</loc>
    <changefreq>daily</changefreq>
    <priority>0.75</priority>
    <lastmod>2025-08-07</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1486619831810-XPN2MTJBFDCJHBB999XM/RB1WEB.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>restored behavior - #1</image:title>
      <image:caption>36" x 24"  charcoal, pen, colored pencil Because we constructed such a site-specific and site-directed installation, these paintings were based off a photograph previously denied from exhibition in the same gallery space for nudity. My body, now clothed in abstraction, connected with Elliott’s projections to question whether our artwork (as well as the responses by the audience) were performance, authentic, or both.</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1486619831810-XPN2MTJBFDCJHBB999XM/RB1WEB.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>restored behavior - #1</image:title>
      <image:caption>36" x 24"  charcoal, pen, colored pencil Because we constructed such a site-specific and site-directed installation, these paintings were based off a photograph previously denied from exhibition in the same gallery space for nudity. My body, now clothed in abstraction, connected with Elliott’s projections to question whether our artwork (as well as the responses by the audience) were performance, authentic, or both.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1486619836429-S4BEQWIL08HAILVBLALZ/RB2WEB.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>restored behavior - #2</image:title>
      <image:caption>36" x 24"  acrylic, colored pencil I wanted to play with Carlson's idea that pretending to be someone other than oneself is a common example of this restored behavior. This type of performance is not linked to the display of technical skills (what we would normally think of as theater, or “performing arts”) but rather with a distance between the self and the displayed behavior.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>restored behavior - #3</image:title>
      <image:caption>36" x 24"  acrylic This distance between self and projected behavior creates the juxtaposition within the work to communicate the felt distance of who I am and who I display to the world.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>restored behavior - #4</image:title>
      <image:caption>36" x 24"  acrylic Is the/my body still recognizable without the context of other representations? If isolated, would it still be deemed inappropriate nudity? As a final commentary on the gallery which holds endless tension between the disciplines of art and psychology, I wanted to give the most minimal representation of my form as possible.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>restored behavior</image:title>
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      <image:title>restored behavior</image:title>
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      <image:title>restored behavior</image:title>
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      <image:title>restored behavior</image:title>
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      <image:title>restored behavior</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/faithartworks</loc>
    <changefreq>daily</changefreq>
    <priority>0.75</priority>
    <lastmod>2019-09-19</lastmod>
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      <image:title>faith &amp; (art)works - incarnate</image:title>
      <image:caption>36" x 24" acrylic, aged photos, tissue paper, pastel  2014 Time seems to become nothing less than the vehicle of God's providential action.  This is of a piece with far more time-laden vision of the incarnation, one which is able to embrace the entire story of all birth and deaths, in which the world's time is not negated or set aside but healed. Jeremy Begbie, "Keeping in Time" in Quartets</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1486620133893-KIM9N24Q30XQT675JTQL/incarnateWEB.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>faith &amp; (art)works - incarnate</image:title>
      <image:caption>36" x 24" acrylic, aged photos, tissue paper, pastel  2014 Time seems to become nothing less than the vehicle of God's providential action.  This is of a piece with far more time-laden vision of the incarnation, one which is able to embrace the entire story of all birth and deaths, in which the world's time is not negated or set aside but healed. Jeremy Begbie, "Keeping in Time" in Quartets</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1486620137947-7619HE0JA0HYZYYY9RES/littleWEB.JPG</image:loc>
      <image:title>faith &amp; (art)works - up, up &amp; away</image:title>
      <image:caption>5" x 5" aged photo, tissue paper, acrylic, colored pencil  2014 The artist cannot hold back; it is impossible because art involves participation in suffering, ills, and occasional stabbing joys that come from being part of the human drama ... We have to be braver than we think we can be, because God is constantly calling us to be more than we are, to see through the plastic sham to the living, breathing reality, and to break down our defenses of self-protection in order to be free to receive and give love.   Madeleine L'Engle, Walking on Water</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1486859882533-KG8OTHXF7E27JLVWJH5N/roseWEB.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>faith &amp; (art)works - stubbornness</image:title>
      <image:caption>18" x 27" pen &amp; acrylic  2013 "What are your narratives around safety and certainty, or lack thereof?  I hear you talking about it but not naming it specifically.  Your desire to move on to something else in a hard conversation shows up in your writing.  There are several instances where you end a paragraph with an important realization, only to switch topics in the next.  What do you know about this tendency of yours? How well can you actually suffer?"</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1486620145850-W9M2N97AT8LIM5391QY4/tetonsWEB.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>faith &amp; (art)works - breaking beauty</image:title>
      <image:caption>15" x 25" pen and ink, watercolor 2016 Beauty cannot be encountered in its fullness apart from acknowledgement of suffering, contingency, and need ... Beauty's very woundedness is the occasion for redemption.  Bruce Herman, "Wounds and Beauty" in The Beauty of God</image:caption>
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      <image:title>faith &amp; (art)works</image:title>
      <image:caption>24” x 36” charcoal, acrylic &amp; paint pens 2019</image:caption>
    </image:image>
  </url>
  <url>
    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/blog</loc>
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    <lastmod>2017-02-28</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/blog/2017/2/27/the-middle-space-time-eternity-both</loc>
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    <lastmod>2017-03-03</lastmod>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/blog/2017/2/19/the-humility-of-imaginative-reading</loc>
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    <lastmod>2017-02-19</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2017-02-18</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/reading/2017/2/17/cultural-and-collective-memory</loc>
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    <lastmod>2017-04-04</lastmod>
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      <image:title>reading - cultural &amp; collective memory</image:title>
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      <image:title>reading - cultural &amp; collective memory</image:title>
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      <image:title>reading - cultural &amp; collective memory</image:title>
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      <image:title>reading - cultural &amp; collective memory</image:title>
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      <image:title>reading - cultural &amp; collective memory</image:title>
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      <image:title>reading - cultural &amp; collective memory</image:title>
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    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/reading/2017/2/18/languagemadness</loc>
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    <lastmod>2017-04-04</lastmod>
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      <image:title>reading - language &amp; madness - Title Test</image:title>
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    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/reading/2017/2/18/essays</loc>
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    <lastmod>2017-03-08</lastmod>
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    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/reading/2017/2/17/grief</loc>
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    <lastmod>2017-03-08</lastmod>
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      <image:title>reading - grief</image:title>
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      <image:title>reading - grief</image:title>
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      <image:title>reading - grief</image:title>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.racheltelian.com/family-narrative</loc>
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    <lastmod>2025-08-07</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1593018394379-LB3HSNIQVUG8NX5WI0JJ/IMG_1078.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>to whom do the dead belong</image:title>
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      <image:title>to whom do the dead belong - ode to a people</image:title>
      <image:caption>12” x 9” 2019 acrylic on chalkboard “The avenging of a genocide should be manifested in the flourishing of a people.” -Meline Toumani, There Was &amp; There Was Not “Rememberance is a form of recognition and of honoring. Perhaps remembering the dead is the very opposite of gratuitous violence, a gratuitous retrieval of meaning from oblivion.” -Eva Hoffman, After Such Knowledge</image:caption>
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      <image:title>to whom do the dead belong</image:title>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1592514559306-C394FVMQC52JR3KI8B0A/IMG_1091+3.JPG</image:loc>
      <image:title>to whom do the dead belong - the return of the voice</image:title>
      <image:caption>26” x 10” 2019 hymnal &amp; thread [Genocide] is disbelieved because it does not enter and cannot be framed by any existent frame of reference, because our perception of reality is molded by frames of reference, what is outside them, however imminent and otherwise conspicuous, remains historically invisible, unreal and can only be encountered by a systematic disbelief. 108</image:caption>
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      <image:title>to whom do the dead belong - living through</image:title>
      <image:caption>29” x 10” 2020 acrylic &amp; pen on canvas</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1592519321984-2PVBDJ8BPVYY920H3XLI/5.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>to whom do the dead belong - to whom do the dead belong?</image:title>
      <image:caption>29” x 10” 2020 watercolor, acrylic, pastel, photo, thread &amp; pen on canvas “Issues of biography &amp; history are neither simply represented or reflected but are reinscribed, translated, rethought &amp; fundamentally worked over by the text.” -Shoshana Felman &amp; Dori Laub Because so much of my artistic practice deals with the intersection of image and text, I wanted to take the textual accounts of narrative and play with this idea visually. Much of the account is miraculous, but much of it is also completely horrifying. Certain lines are actually quite humorous: “He dislikes work -whenever he sees a flock of sheep he follows them for a little while.” Others are appalling and unimaginable: “I have not heard from any member of my family since 1919.” “We traveled through the deserts where you could see bleached bones of Armenians who were massacred in the great war.” “My brother and I are the only survivors of my entire family: our parents, 6 brothers and 3 sisters.” I was haunted by another line from Feldman &amp; Laub, that ‘the artist’s role is to demolish the deceptive image of history as abstraction.’ Reading through the entire account of my great grandfather’s escape to America and subsequent search for his family took away the abstraction, and I wanted to reinscribe the words of his search for his only surviving family member, his brother Krikor. I am indebted to my cousin Aaron Telian for his compilation and organization of official government &amp; immigration documents, personal letters, newspaper articles &amp; photos in his senior project, The Krikor Story.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>to whom do the dead belong - i was and i was not</image:title>
      <image:caption>8” x 7” 2020 hymnal, gesso, acrylic &amp; colored pencil The traditional first line of Armenian folk tales is: ‘There was and there was not.’ This opening is my heritage’s version of ‘once upon a time,’ and it speaks not only to the layers of complexity and the possibility of dualing narratives, but the complicitness of a narrator within the tale itself. Writer Meline Toumani says, “this [phrase] should not be taken to mean that all stories are equally true, but that all stories are imperfect.” Can an Armenian artist work with artistic objectivity? There is almost an inherent refusal of that notion; an irreconcilability between a burden of proof and the lack of genocide recognition. This project was an attempt to understand and to connect; to explore through my family history the idea of belonging to a community vs. attempting to individuate. Researching deep within the layers, sometimes the only thing I realized is that I am a stranger within them. Within my family history, there is a wild and tragic story that ends always with the goodness of God. What happens when small acts tamper with the story we all agreed to tell?</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2024-10-27</lastmod>
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      <image:title>to the bone - time has a texture</image:title>
      <image:caption>72 x 36 inches mixed media on canvas SOLD</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1715707536697-TFQKV7A2H9Q3B6J20Q0D/IMG_5932.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>to the bone - the brightest sorrow</image:title>
      <image:caption>30 x 40 inches mixed media on canvas SOLD</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
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      <image:title>to the bone - if i could let go</image:title>
      <image:caption>48 x 36 inches mixed media on canvas SOLD</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/55d391e7e4b0ddce73a08981/1715713499051-5IF9ZKTCFQT5UKSWD0R9/IMG_5926.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>to the bone - a kind of company</image:title>
      <image:caption>48 x 32 inches mixed media on canvas SOLD</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2017-01-30</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2017-01-29</lastmod>
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